I've got a secret for you

I’ve got a secret for you…
That no one talks about. Babies die, dreams get shattered, and sometimes hearts don’t mend without noticeable scars. Try to mend yours anyway.

I’ve got a secret for you…
People don’t understand. Some will try to. Others will look the other way, while others will insult you when it comes to sharing the story of the death of your child. Share it anyway.

I’ve got a secret for you…
I DO have a child. You might not see him, but he is real and so is my title as mom! I’m still proud of my role as a mom anyway.

I’ve got a secret for you…
Even though I’m smiling, I’m dying inside. I might not talk about how because my child died a part of me died too, but talking about it is the only way I know how to lessen the pain. I need you to be able to make space for the uncomfortable, the real and true emotions of depression, desperation, pain and sorrow of my experience. Isn’t that what friendship and human kindness is for anyway?

I’ve got a secret for you…
I’m angry that my child died. Why me? Why my child? I ask myself, God, the ether, with of course no reply. Why did this happen anyway?

I’ve got a secret for you…
I’m jealous that you get your child and I don’t get mine. There I said it. What are you going to do about my envy anyway?

I’ve got a secret for you…
I feel like it’s my fault that my baby died. I feel like I should have known. But I won’t take the blame, I’m going to find self-forgiveness anyway.

I’ve got a secret for you…
People will shy away from hearing your pain, even if you don’t try to hide it. Those who don’t know your pain will be afraid of the power in which you express yours. Speak of your pain anyway.

I’ve got a secret for you…
My baby died. And I don’t want to have to feel like I should keep it a secret.

Besides, it’s not a secret anyway.